I’ve got tha yellow fever cause of you Tracy!
And I answered:
What the hell is wrong with you?!
Ugh. I get this kind of question/comment way more often than I want to admit, and I usually ignore them. But today I felt a need to respond. I’ve talked about this issue on my blog before, and I guess I thought that would be enough, but clearly it’s going to be an ongoing issue. And that’s ok. I’ve got plenty of time to explain this. But for fuck’s sake, it gets tiring.
Look. I am Asian-American. It’s pretty obvious. I was raised in a very traditional way, partly here and partly in the country where I was born. My family wanted me to grow up to be their version of The Perfect Child, according to the standards of the culture they came from. And yes, I’ll admit that I do actively participate in some of the things my family wants me to, even as an adult, though I’ve broken with most of the traditions I was raised with (obviously–I’m a porn star). But, no, I’m not going to list the traditional things I choose to participate in for you, because they are none of your business. And no, I’m not going to tell you which culture my family comes from because, again, that’s none of your damn business. That’s my life and my experience and my own personal decision. It doesn’t involve you. And I don’t do any of it, or anything else, because you want me to. I do it for me.
This might be really difficult to understand, and I don’t say that to be patronizing. The world we live in makes it really tough for us to fathom that people who have sex for money are not necessarily offering every single part of themselves, including their past, their beliefs, or their cultural heritage, and every other intimate detail of their lives, to their viewers. I share images of my sexual adventures with the world because I want to. Because I believe that healthy images of consensual, empowering female sex are too rare. I share it because it makes me feel strong and sexy to do so, and because it makes me money that I live on. But I don’t do it because I want to make myself 100% available in every way. My sexual escapades on camera are only one part of one fraction of who I am. I choose to share those, and some of my thoughts on this blog. And that’s about it. If I haven’t shared it with you already, chances are I don’t want you to see it.
Yes, another part of who I am is my Asian American-ness. I share that because it’s an essential part of who I am, and it’s not something I’m ashamed of or trying to hide. It’s written on my face and body, for fuck’s sake. But that part of my identity is not on the table for you to utilize. That’s for me. It’s personal. It’s fine for you to notice that about me, but the idea of you or anybody else, my family and their traditions included, trying to reduce me to a set of racially informed assumptions about my disposition or off-camera life makes me angry. There is more to me than my race and upbringing. I’m more than that, and most of what I am you will never know about. So I’d thank you to think about that the next time you want to throw the term “yellow fever” around, or go to a website that features only Asian-descended performers, or makes racist generalizations about those performers.
You might point out that the website you’re on right now has a lot of “Asian” looking elements to it: design decisions and artwork and even some of the outfits I’m wearing and fonts I’ve used in the past. Some of it does play up my Asian heritage. Yeah, that’s true. I chose to do that. And you know why? Because fuck people who want to use the Asian Fever line, that’s why. Because I get to make the decisions here. I get to use the imagery and design that I want, and then still tell you not to box me in to some label, that’s why. That’s my decision, not yours. I get to make it. Just like I get to tell you that me showing off my sex on the internet is my choice and that it doesn’t give you a right to my body, aside from the images I choose to show you. I have my reasons, my motivations, that have nothing to do with anybody else, least of all people who think they know me because I take off my clothes and document it, or because I have an Asian face.
So yeah, dude. By all means, keep paying for my videos because you think they’re hot. Because they are hot. And keep enjoying my tongue-in-cheek site aesthetic. But don’t ever, ever, think that YOU know all there is to know about me because of what you see.
Aaaaanyway, find out more about me, my friends, and this book some weirdos are making about me, by continuing to explore TracyQueen.com!